Things I’ve Been Into

Posted on July 16, 2012 by Rob Pollak

To follow up on that last post, here’s a list of pretty much everything I’ve ever been into (relevant dates in parentheses)

Anne (August 1996 – December 2000; January 2001-present)
Playing hard to get with Anne (December 2000 – January 2001)
Rage Against the Machine (1994-1999; 2010-present)
the Allman Brothers (college)
The Simpsons (college)
The Wire (three week binge, 2010)
Freshmen girls (Senior year of college)
Office Space
Call Me Maybe (every time it gets stuck in my head)
Adele (two months after the rest of America)
Fight Club (every night for a two week period right after I started working at my first job)
The internet
Nick Hornby books
Mad Men (2012)
Hating on Mad Men (2010)
The British Office (2003)
Hating on the American version of the Office (2004)
Loving the American version of the Office (2004)
Running
Talking about running
Yoga
blogging (may 2011-may 2012; today)
Fake Tanning (After spring break in Panama City Florida Junior Year)
golf
Taylor Made Burner Drivers
Tiger Woods
Bon Iver (anytime I am sad)
Bob Dylan Bootleg Series
Guns N Roses (Pre-buckethead)
Facebook (when I’m bored)
Twitter (when I’m bored and on the subway)
tumblr (When I’m bored and want to look at pictures of my niece)
plaid shirts (high school)
khaki pants (college)
wearing hats (when I had hair and didn’t believe people that told me wearing hats make you bald)
captain and coke (college)
Bonobos pants
Warby Parker glasses
BD Baggies shirts
Puma golf shorts
the Mets (1983-1988)
The Red Sox (1990-2006)
the Olympics
Quentin Tarrantino movies
hot dogs
WWF wrestling (Junk Yard Dog Era)
Talking like Randy the Macho Man Savage (periodically)
Talking in a foreign accent (whenever I get back from another country)
Hamilton College
Playing trumpet (high school)
Bill Simmons (pre-ESPN2)
Rick Reilly (1993)
Hating Rick Reilly (1993-present)
Hating the Mannings
Hating Phil Mickelson
Making lists
Ranking things
Survivor (the only one still into this)
The Biggest Loser
The Art of Fielding
Finding the best slice of pizza in New York
boxes of boobs:

I probably forgot something, but I think that covers most of my life.

Things I should be into

Posted on July 16, 2012 by Rob Pollak

I’ve recently found some new things that I’m pretty into. For instance, I never thought I’d like yoga, but then I saw how much better life can be if I joined a cult and then I stopped blogging for 5 months and no one seemed to worry about me at all. I may have written off Downton Abbey in my younger days, but recently I found myself waiting with Bated breath to find out if Mr. Bates would kill Anna. (I really didn’t mean for that to be a Bates pun).

In other words, I’m trying to get more into getting into new things and I’m open to suggestions. Here are some things that may help you recommend your favorite things to me.

MUSIC:

One of my worst qualities is that I’m just not that into music. I can’t listen to music while I do other things. I don’t turn on music when I get home. I am tone deaf. Others cringe when I sing along. I’m not that into hip hop. I’m pretty out of touch with modern music trends. I like Mumford & Sons. So if you have suggestions for things that might break me from this trend, call me maybe?

TV:

I still haven’t watched Breaking Bad. I watch Louie. I watched 4/9s of the Girls season and liked all the ones I watched but didn’t commit. I have the attention span of a 17 month old with ADHD, yet I don’t really like clip shows. I have netflix streaming but don’t use it enough. I’d like to binge watch a couple of shows that will make me happy. Preferably comedy.

Movies:

I just saw 21 Jump Street. Surprisingly good. I have the least discerning palate of any movie goer ever. I literally can’t remember a movie I didn’t at least think was ok.

Web/Apps:

Should I be more pinteresting?

Fitness:

I’m bored with running, which is making training for and committing to the marathon pretty difficult. I have been doing other workouts to keep myself from running. Any ways to make running more exciting (other than those I read about at Hot Bird Running?)

I’ve been trying to do a handstand against the door of my apartment, but Anne thinks it’s too dangerous. I also worry that one time I will be upside down and she’ll come through the door and break my neck and then feel really bad that I end up in a wheelchair and she has to take care of me for the rest of her life and feed me through a straw. So that’s pretty much the danger threshold.

Things to do:

If you know any cool things to do, I will try them and write about them. Last week I explored Chinatown and the best thing I found was this:

So if your suggestion was going to be squeezable breast balls, then you can hold your advice until later.

Why I Run

Posted on June 7, 2012 by Rob Pollak

Happy National Running Day! Since I’m a rule follower, here’s my contribution to National Running Day’s “I run…” campaign.

I run…

Because it lets me eat like this.

Because all you need is a pair of sneakers (and a GPS watch, and an ipod shuffle, and Body Glide, and a sweatband, and a wicking shirt, and a wicking hat)

Because evolution demands it.

Because I seem like the calm one when standing with a group of anxious runners before the start of a race.

Because I no longer feel safe on yoga retreats.

Because from 2004-2009 I had one pair of pants that I wore every day. (and in 2008, I didn’t really even button them all the way)

Because I really really really really really love ice cream.

Because of the race photos:

Because I’ve got great friends to run with, and they have no choice but to listen to everything I say the entire time.

Because I can obsess over my race times being posted on the internet.

Because if you google “Rob Pollak Running,” this comes up in the image search:

But also this (Another Pollak who’s running … for office! Get it? Zing. LOL!)

Because it gives me something to blog about.

Have a great national running day everybody! Vote Pollak!

Food Diary (a.k.a. I’m a Fat F*&K)

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Rob Pollak

According to science, I am somewhere between -3 and 26 lbs overweight. Since no one without a phd in literature can understand the instructions for determining “frame size,” I am considering myself a medium frame. I also have miniature wrists and the smallest neck of any adult man. Perhaps my frame may even be small.

I exercise a lot. So here I am, finally admitting that the only reason I am not yet gracing the cover of men’s health magazine is related to my diet.

I hope you’re ready internet, because I’m considering keeping a running food diary on my tumblr to hold myself accountable. To see if this is even possible, here’s my recreation of everything I have eaten since 6 am on Thursday morning.

Thursday (Pretty sure this was the healthiest day)

Breakfast:

20 oz Iced coffee (Thanks Mayor Bloomberg!)

6 oz oatmeal from Whole Foods

Workout:

4 mile run on treadmill. (Sweat rating 3.5 towels)

Lunch:

Salad with blackened chicken, whole wheat pita, rice, avocado, cucumber, sesame ginger dressing.

Beverage – Water

Dinner:

Chipotle Burrito Bowl (Picture is representative, but not accurate). Brown rice, black beans, Barbacoa (no clue what this is), hot salsa, corn salsa, a little cheese. (No guac or sour cream)

Beverage – water

Dessert:
Entire pint of this:

Friday:

Breakfast:

20 oz iced coffee

Corn muffin from a food cart parked outside my apartment

Snack:

Two apple sauces – single serve size, not whole jars

Workout: One hour Vinyassa Yoga (image below), Jog 1.1 miles. (Sweat Rating: 3 towels)

Lunch:

Whole Foods Hot bar (Total Weight 1.29 lbs). Items included: Brown rice, Chicken Curry, Four pieces of Naan, One potato Samosa, Mexican Rice

Drink – Sparkling Mandarin Water

Dinner:

I cooked this. I added an extra half pound of the skirt steak because two of us were eating. Then I ate approximately one pound of skirt steak.

I also ate 170 blue corn chips with guacamole.

Beverage: Mandarin Orange Seltzer

Dessert:

Saturday:

Breakfast – onion bagel with lo-fat cream cheese from Zuckers

20 oz Iced Coffee.

Lunch:

Chicken Selects Meal from McDonalds (5 pc) (20 oz Coke) (Medium Fries)

Snack:

Leftover dinner from last night (Serving Size – Medium)

20 more chips with guac

Workout:

3ish Mile Run. Outdoors. Sweated my balloons off.

And that’s where I’m at. I think that I’m eating pretty healthily, so if anyone notices any issues or has suggestions for ways that I can cut down on unnecessary calories, I would love to hear them.

Operation: Jamaican Me Healthy

Posted on February 22, 2012 by Rob Pollak

March 31 will mark the amazing five-year anniversary of my marriage to Anne. So in recognition of her tremendous patience, perseverance, tolerance, patience, devotion, sense of humor, patience, and ability to see the potential in others, we will be taking a celebratory trip to Jamaica.

To commemorate this momentous occasion, I’ve decided to do something extra special for Anne. That’s right, I intend to remove my shirt in public for the first time since forced to pass a mandatory swim test on my first day of college. Because I work best when instructed to follow an explicit set of rules, I enacted Operation: Jamaican Me Healthy, a ten-step plan designed to help me and others achieve the perfect beach bod.

Operation: Jamaican Me Healthy (patent pending)

Step 1: Take a photo of yourself and identify any potential areas for improvement:

Step 2: Reduce the number of meals eaten at shake shack from 5 to 3 per week.

Step 3: Increase the amount of exercise from none times per week to at least 6 times per day.

Step 4: Think of as many “Jamaican me” jokes as you can. Use them at least once per conversation. Pray that despite step 4 you still make it to that elusive five year anniversary.

Step 5: If you see, smell, hear, touch, bathe in, or otherwise come into contact with ice cream, repeat step 4.

Step 6: No alcohol except for Red Stripe and rum punch.

Step 7: Watch The Biggest Loser and Cool Runnings every week.

Step 8: At the end of each day, stand shirtless in front of the bathroom mirror and flex your muscles. If Anne anyone knocks on the door and asks “what are you doing in there? Everything ok” respond with, “Sorry. That healthy dinner I had tonight must have ja-made my stomach upset.” Then remind yourself that “jamaican me” jokes don’t work as well in the past tense, flex three more times, flush the toilet to complete the story you were selling, and get a good night’s sleep.

Step 9: If the first eight steps are not jamaican you as ripped as you hoped to be, seek extensive lipo or other forms of plastic surgery.

Step 10: Remove your shirt, retake your photo, and witness your amazing transformation from step 1: