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About Rob Pollak

I plan to get famous via the internet.

What happens at the Duane Reade pharmacy every time I go there.

Me: Hi. Dropping off.
Pharmacist: (Looking at prescription) We don’t have that.
Me: Hm. Ok. Can you order it?
Pharmacist: (Incredibly agitated) I guess.
Me: Great! When will that be ready?
Pharmacist: Let’s see. Today’s what? Wednesday? So we can order it on Monday and it should be in by next Thursday.
Me: Yeah, I guess that works.
Pharmacist: Okay, fine.

Then I leave and twenty minutes later get an automated call telling me that my prescription is ready.

Why I Run

Happy National Running Day!  Since I’m a rule follower, here’s my contribution to National Running Day’s “I run…” campaign.

I run…

Because it lets me eat like this.

Because all you need is a pair of sneakers (and a GPS watch, and an ipod shuffle, and Body Glide, and a sweatband, and a wicking shirt, and a wicking hat)

Because evolution demands it.

Because I seem like the calm one when standing with a group of anxious runners before the start of a race.

Because I no longer feel safe on yoga retreats.

Because from 2004-2009 I had one pair of pants that I wore every day.  (and in 2008, I didn’t really even button them all the way)

Because I really really really really really love ice cream.  

Because of the race photos:

Because I’ve got great friends to run with, and they have no choice but to listen to everything I say the entire time.  

Because I can obsess over my race times being posted on the internet. 

Because if you google “Rob Pollak Running,” this comes up in the image search: 

But also this (Another Pollak who’s running … for office!  Get it?  Zing.  LOL!)

Because it gives me something to blog about.

Have a great national running day everybody!  Vote Pollak!

Help me be less Annoying

As I was waiting in line at the store today, I realized that I am incapable of standing in a line and not looking annoyed.  Is there any way to stand without looking incredibly annoyed?  No matter what I did, it came out like this:

I tried so many different ways of trying to look like there was no place I would rather be than in that line.  Here’s what I tried.

– Arms folded across my chest.

– One hand in pocket, one casually resting on the register table.

– Inching closer to the person in front of me and coughing quietly.

– Shifting my weight back and forth from one foot to the other while sighing loudly.

– Muttering, “I mean, seriously?  How long have we been here?  Hellooooo?”

None of these casual stances gave off the vibe I desired.  Maybe I just have one of those faces that always looks annoyed.  Please let me know if you have any solutions for ways to stand casually without looking annoyed.  I struggle with this generally, but it’s especially hard whenever I am waiting in a line because it sure seems like people intentionally take fucking forever just to piss me off.   Am I right?  Who’s with me?

See below for some pictures of my face so you can judge for yourselves.  

This is my happy face (I probably had just eaten a shitload of ice cream)

Here’s me politely asking Anne to give me back my ipad immediately.

 

Here’s me explicitly trying to smile instead of doing an annoyed face.