Ireland Part II Part I

Well, we’re off to Ireland after a slight hiccup thanks to hurricane Irene.  Speaking of which, did you know that you can’t spell Ireland without Irene?  I read that somewhere.

In addition to packing everything I own that’s green, I’ve been practicing some of the colloquialisms of the country.  Here are some of the things that I have been advised to say all the time when I’m in Ireland: 

– Wow, the Guinness really does taste different over here.

– Hi, I’m looking for Rory McIlroy.

– OMG!  There’s a flock of sheep crossing the road.

– Ahoy Matey

– Do you know Bono?  

– Huh?  I guess people don’t really wear kilts here.

If they have the internet over there, I’ll be live blogging everything we do.  In all seriousness though, I’d really like to play a round of golf with Rory.  Can anyone get that set up?

Attn: Internet

I’m going on vacation!  See below for information on what you should do in my absence:

If you’re a fan of my blog:  Fear not.  I will continue to provide infrequent updates while away.  My absence may be a good time to visit the archives. 

If you’re a hurricane about to devastate the Eastern seaboardPlease hold off until after my flight departs.  Please be gentle, and if you do destroy my apartment, please notify my office that I will be trapped in Ireland for the foreseeable future with no way to communicate or get home.  Please also notify them that despite my being unable to work, I would appreciate the continuation of my direct deposit program. 

If you’re a robber:  I bolted the door.  So you should suck it.

If you’re someone who gave me advice on things to do in Ireland:  You should ignore my blog for the time being.  I’ll probably only do one of the things you suggested, and someone else suggested the same thing. 

If you’re an asshole:  Be forewarned that some of my best drawings are conceptualized at airports and on flights with no wifi. 

If you’re the Euro:  Please decline in value.

If you’re pregnant and running a pool that I entered regarding the birth date of your child:  Please stay strong until September 2nd.

If you’re my dad:  Call me every day, because you’ve already forgotten that I’m going on vacation. 

If you’re still reading this:  I love you.  Thanks for reading.