I’m going on vacation! See below for information on what you should do in my absence:
If you’re a fan of my blog: Fear not. I will continue to provide infrequent updates while away. My absence may be a good time to visit the archives.
If you’re a hurricane about to devastate the Eastern seaboard: Please hold off until after my flight departs. Please be gentle, and if you do destroy my apartment, please notify my office that I will be trapped in Ireland for the foreseeable future with no way to communicate or get home. Please also notify them that despite my being unable to work, I would appreciate the continuation of my direct deposit program.
If you’re a robber: I bolted the door. So you should suck it.
If you’re someone who gave me advice on things to do in Ireland: You should ignore my blog for the time being. I’ll probably only do one of the things you suggested, and someone else suggested the same thing.
If you’re an asshole: Be forewarned that some of my best drawings are conceptualized at airports and on flights with no wifi.
If you’re the Euro: Please decline in value.
If you’re pregnant and running a pool that I entered regarding the birth date of your child: Please stay strong until September 2nd.
If you’re my dad: Call me every day, because you’ve already forgotten that I’m going on vacation.
If you’re still reading this: I love you. Thanks for reading.