About that web series I mentioned…

File this under big things are about to happen

As I mentioned yesterday, I’m in the beginning of stages of creating a web series with a great group of people.

I struggle with finishing things sometimes, mostly because of anxiety. You may remember this chart:

I'm bad at finishing things

Well, one thing that can really reduce that anxiety for me is teaming up with people that actually get things done. I’m incredibly pumped right now to be teamed up with the guys that made this short film. I think it’s really great.

Especially the part where they finished it and put it up on the internet.

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Help me resolve a fight I had with my dad

SPOILER ALERT —  In keeping with the spirit of this post, details of the final round of the British Open Golf Championship may be revealed below.  If you plan to watch the final round on DVR and have been avoiding contact with all people, news sources, and internet feeds other than my blog, be warned that you should stop reading now.  Thank you for considering my blog irresistible despite those attempts.

Yesterday, my dad and I had a major fight.  As is advised in all domestic disputes, I’m turning to the Internet for a speedy and just resolution.  My goal is to receive a completely fair and impartial decision, so I will present the story as neutrally as possible.  

Background:

This dispute involves two individuals: “Person A” and his father, “Person B.”  For ease of reference, I’ve selected random names for the two people.  I’ll call Person A “SONNY” and Person B “POPS.”  On July 22, 2012, Sonny and Pops were playing a round of golf.  At the outset of the round, Pops referenced the final round of the British Open Golf Championship.  Sonny immediately said, “I’m DVR’ing the final round.  I don’t want to know anything about it.  I’m really looking forward to watching it when I get home.  It would mean a lot to me if you didn’t say anything at all about the tournament.  I love golf, and other than playing golf with you, Dad, watching the British Open is my favorite thing in the world.”  

The Incident:

After the fifteenth hole, Sonny and Pops were reflecting on their enjoyable round.  Sonny said, “Pops, it’s so great to be out here with you on such a beautiful day.  We sure are living the good life.”  Pops grunted some form of agreement or disagreement.  His intent was not clear because while Sonny was thanking his father profusely for the round of golf, Pops was reading the internet on his smartphone, which the country club explicitly bans from use during the round.  Sonny then said, “I love you, Pops.”  But Pops was too distracted by some fascinating detail on his phone, and he did not respond.

When they reached the sixteenth tee box a short while later, Sonny placed his peg in the ground and began his pre-shot routine.  Just as Sonny was about to address his ball and hit an incredibly difficult tee shot, Pops shouted an interruption.  ”WAIT!”  he screamed out, sending a resounding echo through the hollows of historic Silvermine Golf Club.

Sonny backed off of the ball, already slightly annoyed to be torn from his pre-shot routine.  Pops said to the group, “I know you guys don’t want to know anything about the British Open….But….”  At this point, Sonny and another member of the foursome protested.  ”No, Pops.  Don’t tell us anything.”  Pops insisted that he was not providing any information that was going to ruin the DVR’ed viewing experience.  Sonny, however, was furious about knowing even this small piece of information.  In his (most likely correct and supported by the internet) view, Sonny interpreted Pops to mean one of the following things:

  1. Adam Scott did not win in resounding fashion.
  2. It was going to get exciting and close at the end of the round.
  3. Tiger Woods either did something special or something atrocious.  (Not in that way, pervs)
  4. There was a playoff.

Sonny surmised that Pops was going to say, “I know you don’t want to know anything but you’re in for a good show.”  He also has known Pops long enough to know that Pops is incapable of having a piece of information he wants to share with you and not sharing it.  The second he opened his mouth, I felt like this:

 

The Outcome:

Sonny returned from a great day on the golf links feeling grateful that he got to spend a beautiful day out in nature with his dad.  For the next 6-9 hours, he did not move from his position on the couch, except to eat ice cream, which if you have read his blog before you know he struggles with.   With just four holes to play, Adam Scott had a commanding lead and was a 98% favorite to win the British Open.  But Sonny had an uneasy feeling about Scott’s chances.  

Sure enough, Scott went on to bogey the last four holes, and Ernie Els hoisted the trophy. Unfortunately, Pops didn’t even provide the information early enough for Sonny to win $32,000, like this guy did.

The Resolution:

So what do you say, Internet?  Should Pops have respected the rules of his golf club, not checked his phone, avoided any details about the British Open and not even started to say anything to Sonny?  Or should he have waited just a short few hours and allowed Sonny to have a wonderful, spoiler free afternoon of European Golf and then discussed the tournament then?

Why Season 2 of Downton Abbey Has Been a Letdown

Confession 1:  I watch Downton Abbey.  Confession 2:  I freaking love it.  Or should I say, I loveD it.  Season 1 was amazing, but season 2 has been a total let down for me.

Compare season 1 story lines with season 2:

Lady Sybil:

In Season 1, she basically hangs around in the background showing the most upside of any of the daughters.  She wears pants once.  Everyone is shocked.  In Season 2, she is courted by her chauffeur, who every time they see one another confesses his love for Lady Sybil.  We learn about the chemistry between them when he tells her about it, but also during the lovepacked season when he drives her around.  Try not to get aroused looking at this screencap:

Va-va-va-voom!  Am I right?  The passion continues for the entirety of the season until she tells him that she’s in.  They share a passionate kiss, filled with as much romance as this:

And she then decides to eff it all and run off to Dublin, where she will give up all of her worldly possessions and finally ride shotgun.  The Lord steadfastly refuses until the episode is almost over.  Then he caves.  She will get money so everyone is happy.

Lady Edith:

In season 1, nobody cares about her, which makes her sad.

In season 2, nobody cares about her, but she drives a car, which makes her happy.

Matthew:

In Season 1, he shows up as a hard working barrister who does not care about the elite world of Downton Abbey.  He is supposed to marry Mary and a season long will they/won’t they drama unfolds.  He proposes and she makes him wait because she wants to see if he will be displaced by a boy sibling.  He gets sad.  We get sad too.

In season 2, he goes to war and leads a group of soldiers.  He gets engaged to a lovely young woman with a name that is not one that a real person would have.  We hate her because she is not Mary, but we don’t really know why we root for Mary, who is a loathsome human being, generally speaking.  During the war, he nearly dies (but is saved by his handsomeness and charm) and discovers he will never be able to walk again or use his reproductive organs.  He still loves Mary.  Then, he tells his fiancé to leave him, because they could never be properly married (i.e., do it).  But she is so great of a person that she agrees to stand by him no matter what.  But Matthew still loves Mary, mostly because she gave him a toy to protect him during the war.  Rather than protect him, the toy led him to think that he was paralyzed and penis-less.  Despite his wishes, his bride-to-be wants to stay with him and care for him.  He keeps the toy, but agrees that he should get married.  Then miraculously, he can walk and procreate again.  So with the use of a walking stick, he walks his stick right to Lady Mary and makes out with her in the living room.  His fiancé sees it and promptly dies.  Crisis averted!  OR IS IT?!

Lady Mary:

In Season 1, she loses her future husband in a horrible boating accident.  She is left with no one to marry and no one to take over the heir to the house, so she says “mama” and “papa” a lot with the emphasis on the second syllable.  Matthew appears and she doesn’t like him, probably because he is disgustingly handsome, worldly, funny, a good dancer, charitable, and loyal.  As she is being courted, she bangs a Turkish guy, who dies,disproving a certain theory that I learned from Clerks.  

In Season 2, she continues to be a horrible person.  She gets engaged to a newspaper man, who purchases the rights to her scandal.  We wait for her to tell the newsman that she is going to leave him so that piece of information will again be relevant.

Mr. Bates:

In Season 1, he has a limp, a cane, and a horrible secret that he can’t reveal.  No one likes him, except Anna, and he doesn’t say much.  We learn that he is married and can’t marry Anna.

In Season 2, everyone loves Bates, especially Anna, but not his ex-wife, who appears periodically so that he can have additional secrets to keep from Anna.  Anna keeps wanting to marry him so that she can learn his first name once and for all, but he can’t for various reasons that he cannot reveal.  In last night’s episode, we learn that the reason was that he has weirdly shaped upper back and shoulder area:

Lord Grantham:

In Season 1, he is generally nice and kind to all that he encounters and loving to his wife.

In Season 2, he hooks up with a mildly attractive maid when his wife is probably dying from the flu.  We learn that he and the maid will hook up earlier in the season when all of their scenes together involve passionate music and close ups of their lips.  Also, he remembers her kid’s name, which is a sign of love.

Daisy:

In season 1, she has a crush on Thomas, but he does not like her back because he is gay.  Because he is a jerk, he pretends to like her because it will infuriate his nemesis, William. She puts soap in the soup.

In Season 2, Daisy agrees to marry William even though she doesn’t like him because of pressure from a cook in the kitchen.  Every scene unfolds in the exact same way.  The cook says, “Daisy, you should_____”  Daisy says, “But I can’t.  I don’t love him.”  Because she is British, the word love is pronounced with an eloooooongated O.  Then the cook says, but you have to.  He’s at war/dying/dead/watching you from heaven.  Then if it is something that would be bad for her, she says ok.  If it is something that would benefit her, she holds strong and refuses.

The guy with the burnt face:

In season 1, he dies in the Titanic.

In season 2, he reemerges from the dead and hangs around for one episode looking like this:

Only instead of his wife’s Burberry scarf, it was gauze, and his eyes weren’t as naturally beautiful, and his face was more scorched from the fire.  He then spends the first 45 minutes of his visit telling everyone that he can’t believe they don’t remember him, but refuses to mention his name.  Then he says who he is and everyone thinks he is a fraud except Lady Edith, who can drive a car so she believes him.

The Dowager Countess:

Season 1 – Selflessly gives up rose title and says hilarious things.

Season 2 – Says hilarious things.  Uses cane more.