Sometimes when I have nothing to write, people suggest that I should write a stream of Consciousness post, well that’s what I am doing.  And I will not delete anything I write for the next thirty seconds. I would have deleted that.  I wonder if changing punctuation or going back and editing spelling mistakes counts as changing what I write.  I just determined that it did not while I was writing that last sentence, which means that I went back and changed the spelling when I was typing.  Does that still count as stream of consciousness?  Because technically I thought of other things when I was correcting my mistakes.  For example, I went back and changed steam to stream after I fucked if up the first time.  So while I was changing that I started thinking about whether I was ruining the whole post by typing and editing.  now I just looked at the clock and it’s been way longer than thirty seconds, but I was really locked in.  So locked in that I didn’t even make any spelling errors when I wrote that.

I just hit enter which really took me out of stream of consciousness mode.  I was thinking about criticisms of my tumblr while hitting enter.  Specifically that I write about first world problems.  I think that first world problems is a stupid thing to say.  I live in the first world.  What’s up now, MF’ers?  Exactly.  Whoa – I just thought of something that was really fucked up.  I didn’t write it down because there is a limit to what people who read my blog can know about me.  I am so creeped out right now.  Why did I think that?  I can’t ever do this again. 

Dear Whole Foods Tribeca (WFT):

I hate your express checkout line system.  Other Whole Foods (non-Tribeca) stores use an amazing system where everyone in the express checkout line waits in one line until a robot directs the person at the front of the line to the appropriate register.  It’s an effective way to quickly move customers through the line in the most efficient way possible.  Even the NY Times loves it.

Unfortunately, WFT has opted for a different model.  At WFT the express checkout has anywhere between 2 and 6 express checkout lines.  The lines are color-coded and correspond to a TV screen with similarly color-coded bands.  As registers open up, the register number scrolls across the screen on one of the color-coded bands.  The person who is waiting in that line goes to the register.  

In theory, it’s a fine system.  But here are all the reasons I hate it:

It causes a ton of anxiety as I approach the line area and have to determine which line is shortest.  Instead of just standing at the end of a long line, I must assess whether the shortish line in the yellow band is made up of couples or single people.  I have to consider whether someone deployed their kid to go stand in another color in case that line moves faster.  I have to judge whether a man and a woman standing next to one another and laughing are married or just flirty.  If all the lines are roughly the same length, I have to figure out which color is next up so I can stand in the line that will get me to the register faster.  

But most of all, the system is at its worst when the store isn’t actually crowded.  If there was one line and I was the only one in it, I would go to the next register.  But because there are five lines and no people, I have no freaking clue where I should stand.  And wouldn’t you know that the second I make a choice (inevitably a wrong one) someone else comes into a different line and hysteria breaks out.  

WFT, I mean, WTF?