Present me v. Future me: What I learned from the Willpower Instinct

If you’ve been following my blog, you might me remember my struggles with ice cream, or the time I quit training for the NYC Marathon, or the many months when I didn’t post at all [null link].  Maybe you’re noticing a pattern here.  I certainly did:  I have no willpower.

So I set out to remedy that by reading Kelly McGonigal‘s book The Willpower Instinct:  How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It.

Okay, you caught me.  I’m lying a little bit.  I didn’t actually read it.  Not the whole thing anyway.  But!  I did listen to the Audiobook while commuting.  Most of it at least.  And sometimes I would think about how I could do the exercises to try and get better about things.  But then I would remember my defensive driving training and return my eyes to the road, focusing on any immediate emergencies 2 seconds ahead or scanning for potential danger up to 12 seconds ahead.

At the very least, just by listening to the book, I now can’t help but think about some of the broader concepts that McGonigal discusses.  (Note – if you’re going to listen to the audio book, you’re in for a rude awakening if you expect the narration to be in the author’s voice.  And judging by her picture, she has a hot voice.  The narrator is a monotone man who probably sent a dozen other people to defensive driving class through no fault of their own.)

One concept I learned about was the struggle between my current self and my future self. From what I gathered, my current self is lazy, selfish, shortsighted, irrational, conniving, lazy, calculating, and optimistic.  While my future self is an amazing person, but I never get to meet him.  Here’s an example of a conversation I have with my current self all the time:

Rob1 (current self):  Man, I haven’t been to the gym in a week.  I am harnessing my pants together with an airplane seatbelt extender.  I have ice cream drippings solidifying in the folds of my chin.  Maybe I should go to the gym today.

Rob2 (also current self):  Good idea.  But didn’t you want to watch the new episode of Two Broke Girls?

Rob1:  No, not really.  I should go to the gym.

Rob2:  Dude.  Two Broke Girls!

Rob1:  Hm, that does sound good.

Rob2:  We can just go to the gym tomorrow.

Rob1:  True.

Rob2:  And let’s get some pizza and more ice cream because we’re going to start eating healthy tomorrow too.

Rob1:  Oh yeah, I did say I was going to do that when I was eating lunch at Arby’s.

Rob2:  Totally.  We’re going to be awesome tomorrow.

Rob3 (Future Rob):  Whoa.  I really committed to a lot tomorrow.

Rob1&2:  Yeah, but you’re so amazing.   We love you.

I’m not sure if reading that book will change the way I think about these conversations, but it’s at least made me aware that I totally justify things by thinking I’ll get better about them tomorrow.  And not only that, but McGonigal uses things like sciences and experiments to back up her findings.  I’m a democrat, so I really dig that kind of hogwash.

I’m not saying that this book has all the answers, but if you’ve been keeping track, you have probably noticed the dramatic increase in volume to this blog (and the distracting facebook clog I have caused on your timeline).  So you’re welcome and I’m sorry.

For the visual learners – this is present me:

Image

And this is future me:

runpic2

Now, about that ice cream….

My triumphant return to yoga class

Image

I made my triumphant return to yoga class after falling last week.  Here’s a drawing of the layout of the room.  The purple rectangles represent every space that was taken by a mat.  The stick figure doing a handstand represents me.  The x marks the spot where I fell last week.  Curiously, no one took that spot.  Pretty sure it was just a coincidence.

I fell in yoga

Video

FYI – I fell in yoga class tonight.  Pretty much landed in a sweaty heap on top of the woman who was unfortunate enough to have the mat next to me.  Anne took a video reenactment of the move that led to the incident.

Things I’ve Been Into

To follow up on that last post, here’s a list of pretty much everything I’ve ever been into (relevant dates in parentheses)

  • Anne (August 1996 – December 2000; January 2001-present)
  • Playing hard to get with Anne (December 2000 – January 2001)
  • Rage Against the Machine (1994-1999; 2010-present)
  • the Allman Brothers (college)
  • The Simpsons (college)
  • The Wire (three week binge, 2010)
  • Freshmen girls (Senior year of college)
  • Office Space 
  • Call Me Maybe (every time it gets stuck in my head)
  • Adele (two months after the rest of America)
  • Fight Club (every night for a two week period right after I started working at my first job)
  • The internet
  • Nick Hornby books
  • Mad Men (2012)
  • Hating on Mad Men (2010)
  • The British Office (2003)
  • Hating on the American version of the Office (2004)
  • Loving the American version of the Office (2004)
  • Running
  • Talking about running
  • Yoga
  • blogging (may 2011-may 2012; today)
  • Fake Tanning (After spring break in Panama City Florida Junior Year)
  • golf 
  • Taylor Made Burner Drivers
  • Tiger Woods
  • Bon Iver (anytime I am sad)
  • Bob Dylan Bootleg Series 
  • Guns N Roses (Pre-buckethead)
  • Facebook (when I’m bored)
  • Twitter (when I’m bored and on the subway)
  • tumblr (When I’m bored and want to look at pictures of my niece)
  • plaid shirts (high school)
  • khaki pants (college)
  • wearing hats (when I had hair and didn’t believe people that told me wearing hats make you bald)
  • captain and coke (college)
  • Bonobos pants 
  • Warby Parker glasses
  • BD Baggies shirts
  • Puma golf shorts
  • the Mets (1983-1988)
  • The Red Sox (1990-2006)
  • the Olympics 
  • Quentin Tarrantino movies
  • hot dogs 
  • WWF wrestling (Junk Yard Dog Era)
  • Talking like Randy the Macho Man Savage (periodically)
  • Talking in a foreign accent (whenever I get back from another country)
  • Hamilton College
  • Playing trumpet (high school)
  • Bill Simmons (pre-ESPN2)
  • Rick Reilly (1993)
  • Hating Rick Reilly (1993-present)
  • Hating the Mannings
  • Hating Phil Mickelson
  • Making lists
  • Ranking things
  • Survivor (the only one still into this)
  • The Biggest Loser
  • The Art of Fielding
  • Finding the best slice of pizza in New York
  • boxes of boobs:
     

I probably forgot something, but I think that covers most of my life.

Things I should be into

I’ve recently found some new things that I’m pretty into.  For instance, I never thought I’d like yoga, but then I saw how much better life can be if I joined a cult and then I stopped blogging for 5 months and no one seemed to worry about me at all.  I may have written off Downton Abbey in my younger days, but recently I found myself waiting with Bated breath to find out if Mr. Bates would kill Anna.  (I really didn’t mean for that to be a Bates pun).

In other words, I’m trying to get more into getting into new things and I’m open to suggestions.  Here are some things that may help you recommend your favorite things to me.

MUSIC:

One of my worst qualities is that I’m just not that into music.  I can’t listen to music while I do other things.  I don’t turn on music when I get home.  I am tone deaf.  Others cringe when I sing along.  I’m not that into hip hop.  I’m pretty out of touch with modern music trends.  I like Mumford & Sons.  So if you have suggestions for things that might break me from this trend, call me maybe?

TV:

I still haven’t watched Breaking Bad.  I watch Louie.  I watched 4/9s of the Girls season and liked all the ones I watched but didn’t commit.  I have the attention span of a 17 month old with ADHD, yet I don’t really like clip shows.  I have netflix streaming but don’t use it enough.  I’d like to binge watch a couple of shows that will make me happy.  Preferably comedy.

Movies:

I just saw 21 Jump Street.  Surprisingly good.  I have the least discerning palate of any movie goer ever.  I literally can’t remember a movie I didn’t at least think was ok. 

Web/Apps:

Should I be more pinteresting?

Fitness:

I’m bored with running, which is making training for and committing to the marathon pretty difficult.  I have been doing other workouts to keep myself from running.  Any ways to make running more exciting (other than those I read about at Hot Bird Running?)

I’ve been trying to do a handstand against the door of my apartment, but Anne thinks it’s too dangerous.  I also worry that one time I will be upside down and she’ll come through the door and break my neck and then feel really bad that I end up in a wheelchair and she has to take care of me for the rest of her life and feed me through a straw.  So that’s pretty much the danger threshold.  

Things to do:

If you know any cool things to do, I will try them and write about them.  Last week I explored Chinatown and the best thing I found was this:

So if your suggestion was going to be squeezable breast balls, then you can hold your advice until later.