My gratitude continues to flow. This is going to be a lot of work since I love each and every one of you so much and want to give you the same personal attention that I gave to the victims of round one. Also, once word gets out that everyone who likes my page gets a personal drawing, well, you can only imagine the flood of requests I’ll start to get.
If you’ve been following my blog, you might me remember my struggles with ice cream, or the time I quit training for the NYC Marathon, or the many months when I didn’t post at all [null link]. Maybe you’re noticing a pattern here. I certainly did: I have no willpower.
So I set out to remedy that by reading Kelly McGonigal‘s book The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It.
Okay, you caught me. I’m lying a little bit. I didn’t actually read it. Not the whole thing anyway. But! I did listen to the Audiobook while commuting. Most of it at least. And sometimes I would think about how I could do the exercises to try and get better about things. But then I would remember my defensive driving training and return my eyes to the road, focusing on any immediate emergencies 2 seconds ahead or scanning for potential danger up to 12 seconds ahead.
At the very least, just by listening to the book, I now can’t help but think about some of the broader concepts that McGonigal discusses. (Note – if you’re going to listen to the audio book, you’re in for a rude awakening if you expect the narration to be in the author’s voice. And judging by her picture, she has a hot voice. The narrator is a monotone man who probably sent a dozen other people to defensive driving class through no fault of their own.)
One concept I learned about was the struggle between my current self and my future self. From what I gathered, my current self is lazy, selfish, shortsighted, irrational, conniving, lazy, calculating, and optimistic. While my future self is an amazing person, but I never get to meet him. Here’s an example of a conversation I have with my current self all the time:
Rob1 (current self): Man, I haven’t been to the gym in a week. I am harnessing my pants together with an airplane seatbelt extender. I have ice cream drippings solidifying in the folds of my chin. Maybe I should go to the gym today.
Rob2 (also current self): Good idea. But didn’t you want to watch the new episode of Two Broke Girls?
Rob1: No, not really. I should go to the gym.
Rob2: Dude. Two Broke Girls!
Rob1: Hm, that does sound good.
Rob2: We can just go to the gym tomorrow.
Rob1: True.
Rob2: And let’s get some pizza and more ice cream because we’re going to start eating healthy tomorrow too.
Rob1: Oh yeah, I did say I was going to do that when I was eating lunch at Arby’s.
Rob2: Totally. We’re going to be awesome tomorrow.
Rob3 (Future Rob): Whoa. I really committed to a lot tomorrow.
Rob1&2: Yeah, but you’re so amazing. We love you.
I’m not sure if reading that book will change the way I think about these conversations, but it’s at least made me aware that I totally justify things by thinking I’ll get better about them tomorrow. And not only that, but McGonigal uses things like sciences and experiments to back up her findings. I’m a democrat, so I really dig that kind of hogwash.
I’m not saying that this book has all the answers, but if you’ve been keeping track, you have probably noticed the dramatic increase in volume to this blog (and the distracting facebook clog I have caused on your timeline). So you’re welcome and I’m sorry.
For the visual learners – this is present me:
And this is future me:
Now, about that ice cream….
As a follow up to my post, here’s a picture of the guy from the locker room.
As of today, you are reading the blog of a proud graduate of the 12/2012 Defensive Driving Program of America. It only took me 12 of the 30 allotted days to complete the course. Each slide more excruciating than the last.
This past weekend, I had a chance to put those skills to work. It was a cool and rainy morning as I was zipping through the back roads of Westchester on the way to an early morning appointment. Although unusual for me, I was running late.
The defensive driving playbook would advise me to pull to the side of the road in a safe location, telephone the person I was going to see, and then return to the road in a safe and efficient manner. Using the turn signals and hazard lights as necessary. I couldn’t be bothered. So I did what any normal person would do. I sped up a little bit (DMV if you’re reading this, please note I was still within the legal limit), and tried to make up for lost time.
As I approached a large hill, a beautiful, wonderful, charming, sweet, kind man approached from the opposite direction in a gas guzzling Land Rover. Normally I would be disgusted by such wasteful behavior. But on this wonderful day, that sweet man decided to flash his brights at me, prompting a series of thoughts to race through my head. It’s not night – I don’t need to have my lights on – oh wait, it’s raining – But my lights are on already – is that asshole telling me to turn them off? – you prick – I know my lights are on – Could it mean anything else? – Is this the universally accepted signal that there could be something lurking ahead?
Why yes:
So, thank you sir. Thank you for helping me avoid another horrifying driving class. Thank you for reminding me that, as Marge Simpson once famously said, you should always rely on the kindness of strangers:
In general, people should do more things to help one another out. The flashing of the brights, though probably highly illegal, is one of the great inventions of modern time. I hope that I have an opportunity to repay the favor to others in the future. I’m going to start thinking of and inventing other ways to help advance human togetherness.
If you have ideas for ways we can make the world a better place, please let me know!
Rob Complains About Things 