The plan, tentatively titled “the North Carolina Project,” is coming together. By the time it is fully enacted, this plan will lead to eternal happiness for everyone involved. Try and find a flaw with this plan:
Step 1 – Move to North Carolina
Step 2 – Have everyone in the world that you know and like move to North Carolina
Step 3 – Achieve eternal happiness
Those three simple steps form the basic outline of the plan. Right now, no one I know lives in North Carolina. To get the ball rolling on this plan, Anne and I have to be the first movers. Mostly because no one else will, but also because the two of us are insanely popular and likable. We have been credited with starting other similarly popular trends. Most recently skinny jeans, hipsterism, liking Adele, and geo-location apps.
If we stay in NY, we can continue to live in apartments like this:
If we move to North Carolina, for the same amount of money we can live in a place like this:
Although the NC Project allows each participating family to have their own house, based on my initial research, I could have 20 of my closest friends join me, we can buy one house together, and all have about the same amount of space as we do in our current NYC apartments. From a purely mathematical standpoint, there is no flaw with this plan.
Step 2 is the most important. Right now, the biggest argument against NCP is that being all alone in a huge house in the middle of nowhere can be scary. But if you have everyone you like in the world nearby, then it doesn’t matter where you are. I learned this when I went to college in Clinton, NY. There, the sun shines once every five months, the snow melts less frequently than that, I gained 125 lbs in four weeks during my freshman year, the best musical performance was done by a band called Guster, a rock attached to a swing was a constant source of entertainment, and yet I still look back fondly on those times. If you surround yourself with good people, then the rest just naturally comes together. North Carolina can be like college but with 6000 square foot houses, Weber grills, 27 hole golf memberships, temperate climates, and all the chain restaurants your little heart desires.
Please let me know as soon as possible if you want in. Anne and I are planning on moving there on September 1.
Note that it’s a really loose plan at this point. As in, I haven’t actually mentioned this to Anne. She hasn’t actually agreed to it. We both get incredibly sunburned if we are outside for more than 5 minutes (or for that matter, we burn even when we’ve been inside for five minutes and the temperature outside exceeds 85 degrees). No one has agreed to this plan. Basically 85% of our entire extended family and network of friends lives in the tri-state area. We know nothing else about North Carolina other than what I could find during a five minute internet search for the terms “North Carolina + Golf.”
In other words, it’s a lock to happen. See you all in the south!